Welcome to 2006, I think....

Thanks to Clay, Chris and I did spend New Years together but obviously there are still problems. It's not the kind of things you just sweep under the rug. But now after the good cheer is over and the reality of a a new year stretches out before us, I can't help wondering what's in store.

But there are a few things I do know. I love my husband. I'm not giving up on this marriage without a helluva fight.

I really want Chris to feel the same way.

And we both have Clay to thank for that chance. He really went all out to ensure Chris and I were together and on neutral ground to boot. On New Years eve I planned on spending a quiet evening alone but Clay offered to come over and cook. I think he felt sorry for me but whatever the case, I let him. And he had ulterior motives, it was just before midnight and he announced he had an important question to ask me.

Yeah, about a million possibilities went through my mind but when he finally pulled open the door to reveal Chris standing outside on the porch and asked if I wanted my husband back, I was speechless.

There were arguments and more than a few accusations flung out but Chris and I wound up at the hotel, and I'm assuming Clay went home feeling rather smug and proud of himself. There wasn't much sleep for either Chris or I and its not because we spent the next twenty-four hours wrapped up in one another's arms. We talked. We argued. We almost came to blows.

But yeah, it felt good to get everything out in the open. And yeah, I think there's a little more hope then there was at the end of 2005.