Here in Minneapolis there's not a snow flake to be seen unless you count the light up variety on some of the houses. In fact the grass out front of the hotel is green as green can be. But back in Tulsa there's a blizzard warning and when I called Chris to see if the Weather Channel was exaggerating he assured me they are having quite the storm.

I have mixed feelings about that. Part of me wishes I was home to cuddle with him in front of a roaring fire with no reason to venture outside unless the kids wanted to play in the snow. But another part of me is really very glad I'm missing the mess. I grew up in Minnesota. I spent many years dealing with snow for more than a few months out of every year. Can't say I really miss it.

Sure it can be pretty to look at but its also a huge inconvenience.

So instead of worrying about mitts and scarves and boots with good grip, once all the rest of the details about the house and contents ahve been taken care of, Joe and I decide to spend our extra night in Minneapolis on the town.

Or more specifically at Mall of America for a little shopping and a nice dinner. Its not often we get the chance to shop for Lily and Connor together any more so we might as well take advantage. We spend a few hours wandering here and there, checking out different stores and debating different gift ideas for them. I've brought the camera with me and I can't resist snapping a few shots of the world's Largest Gingerbread House. Hard to believe there's a 100 lbs of Tootsie Rolls decorating it. Its very cool.


But its not until we come across Pottery Barn for Kids that Joe really gets enthusiastic about the shopping. By the time we make our way to Tucci Benucci for dinner, Joe has several bags of loot for the baby. Something tells me he's trying to play it cool about his impending fatherhood, but he really is very excited at the prospect of a new addition to the family. But then being Dad has always been one of the joys in his life and this time is no different.

I woke up to the sound of giggles close to my ear. Is there any better way to be awakened than by the sound of your daughter as she snuggles up to you? Okay I can think of one better way but that happened quite a bit earlier when her daddy got home from his road trip ;) Bella’s become quite the pro at getting out of her crib, looks like she’s going to graduate to a big kid better much sooner than the other two did. But this time it turns out she had just a little help from Chris. I expected him to be completely conked out but instead he’s sitting beside Bella, a wide grin on his face.

Once again he got back from a show and I didn't even hear him come in. Must be old age or something. I still can't believe I'm 40 but that's a topic for another post, another day. But he does have the knack of getting me to wake up rather quickly. And happily.

He's in a great mood. The concert went well, the new songs were all well received and I guess it doesn't help that most of the reviews for the new CD are positive as well. For the first time in a few years, Chris is going to have the number one record in the country. At least that's what the Billboard forecasts are saying.

I'm thrilled and very proud of him but I also worry how much more of his attention his career is going to need with this renewed success. I know that hardly sounds supportive but can I help it if I like having him around?

I went to the mall with good intentions. There are all sorts of Veteran’s Day Sales today so I thought it would be a great time to start the Christmas shopping. Pam took all the kids to see a movie today. At first I thought she was nuts. Keeping an eye on four kids while eight months pregnant isn’t my idea of fun, but she promised she’d have help.

Turns out Logan was going along. Good thing – I didn’t want to be on the receiving end of Joe’s wrath when he found out I’d let her take them by herself. So with no kids and no hubby to worry about I thought I could cross a few names off my ever lengthening list but of course I didn’t buy a single present. Instead I helped Baby Gap make a bigger profit this year by buying some new clothes for the kids.

I could justify it by saying they could always use some warmer stuff for the winter but that would be a lie. Look in any closet and there’s enough clothes for twice as many children.But who can resist cute little T-shirts with sayings like Buttercup Mountain or Downhill Racer, or a pink Fair Isle patterned sweater with the softest white faux fur collar? Hey, it reflects well on me if they’re well dressed, right? And if we’re really lucky maybe it will get cold at least once this winter.

The more I let myself, the more I miss living somewhere with a change of seasons. I know I complain about snow and ice and sub zero temperatures but I can also remember treasured moments from my own childhood. Making a snowman, shuffling through piles of brightly colored leaves, or spotting the first tulip bud in the spring. Sure it snows here in Tulsa….sometimes. But just as often its seventy degrees in December.

Hard to imagine bringing up the idea with Chris when I know he really would like to move us all back to California. What’s a girl to do?

Nothing wrong with dreams.

Today has been a mixed up day from the get-go. I was up between 5 and 7 because my allergies were kicking up. It was nice to get some stitching time without any interruptions from the kids but I much rather would have still been sleeping. I did manage to catch a little more shut eye from 7 until about 9 but a phone call put an end to that. By that time, Lily, Connor and Bella were anxious for breakfast and since Chris is in San Antonio for a show I think I’m the only one really qualified to make it. Since there’s no school today cereal just won’t do. It’s waffle time. Wonder if they’d tell the difference between home made and Eggos?

In the end I go to the trouble of making them waffles from scratch (okay I cheated and used a pancake mix, but I did add some vanilla to the mix for extra flavor - that counts, right?) and made sure every single dimple in the waffles had some syrup in it (otherwise both Connor and Lily would refuse to eat them, saying 'the waffles are naked!' and we can't have that!). And they each ate about three bites and decided they really didn't want waffles. They wanted cereal.

I don't even want to think about lunch or dinner menus. I'm just glad Bella is completely satisfied with a handful of Cheerios on her high chair tray. She's still the easiest to please in this family.

Once breakfast was through I thought about going to the mall but the idea of bundling all the kids up and having to keep them all in line once we got to the store and I was heading for the couch. Motivation was definitely a problem today. I just didn’t feel like doing anything. Lucky for me, the kids were content to haul out their toys and play. We watched Little Mermaid so many times I think I can recite it word for word.

I found enough energy to make stir fry for dinner. Its one meal everyone likes because I let them pick out the things they don’t want to eat. Connor predictably left a pile of red pepper and onion strips on his plate. Lily didn’t touch the cauliflower and Bella picked through everything, only eating the noodles. Yup, they’re all my kids all right. Those fussy genes have been passed along.

“Want to get your fans really riled up?”

Chris raises his head and looks in my direction. He’s been playing with the new website mockup on the laptop for the past hour, fascinated by all the bells and whistles the web designer is suggesting. He seems just a little wary and I guess I can’t blame him. I haven’t really hidden my displeasure over some of his fans’ reaction to our miscarriage announcement. If it was up to me, he wouldn’t be re-designing the website, he’d be deleting it permanently.

There’s a sigh. “Why am I afraid to ask?”

I swing my legs up onto the couch, pressing my feet against his thigh. “Let me post that we don’t have a pre-nup.”

He gives me that look that says ‘You are insane’. He’s good at it, there’s just the slightest incline of an eyebrow and the barest hint of a frown. But then he’s had lots of practice, hasn’t he?

“Well, look at how nuts everyone is going over the K-Fed and Britney split. And Paul McCartney’s.”

“We aren’t getting divorced or separated,” he patiently reminds me. “At least I don’t think we are.”

“Oh we aren’t.” I wiggle my toes against his pant leg. “But imagine all the posts you’d get. Your counter would burn itself out.”

He waggles a finger at me. “Don’t even think about it.”

“Oh why not?”

“ No.”

“You’re no fun.” I pout.

“Just trying to save you from yourself, darling,” he says blandly.

He’s probably right. I would go in an post and start a big brouhaha, then sit back and complain when it backfired. Its nice to have a man who watches out for your best interests. Now if only I could figure out a way to distract him from that damn computer.

Hmmmmmmmm

We got a box of advance copies of Chris' new CD by Fed Ex today. It's due out in stores in a week and I bet we could get a ton for these if we wanted to put them on Ebay or something but Chris has other plans for them (LOL!).

Hmm, I could probably have some fun posting this info on his fan site but I think I'll leave them in suspense for another week. They've been getting little hints about the CD from the reviews that are starting to come out. Chris previewed a few songs for Billboard back in September and there were the two concerts he did in Atlanta as well.

He's been busy since the discs arrived, working on personalized notes to go along - why do I get the feeling I'll either be calling Fed Ex back to pick up a bunch or else I'll be making a trip to the post office soon?

I probably shouldn't do this - but hey, what the heck! Here's the track listings and his comments about the different songs ( the songs will still be a surprise eh):

1. Rockstar - This one has been kicking around for at least 10 years. I pick it up and play it a few times every time we hit the studio, but it just wasn't right. I pulled it out on the bus a while back and the band almost kicked my ass for holding out on them. After a few hundred more miles we had it worked out, and we've been doing it live ever since. Even Rock Stars second guess themselves it seems… and we're still looking for a bigger bathroom. We can't seem to find one with an outfield.

2. Inside Of You - Oh you don't need me to explain this one do you? Really? Go listen again and the first thing that comes to mind…yeah that… you get it. Next?

3. Pull Me Through - This one isn’t by me, for me, or about me in any way, shape or form. It’s about something bigger and better than I’ll ever be. Anyone that knows me, knows how important Tommy was in my life. It took me a long time to deal with the fact that I wasn’t the most important person in his. It took me even longer to realize that the last song we started writing together, deserved to be finished. I had two verses and chorus, and this great guitar part that he kept tossing out. It stuck with me all this time, and I finally realized it was because there was something he wanted to tell someone, and never got a chance. It’s up to me to be the messenger. I hope I did what they had justice.

4. Resolution - More than one person has told me that I'm too ADHD to make Resolutions for a whole year at a time. I decided to write this one, and make it about that part of us all that has to get up every morning and remind ourselves why we're doing it. I can almost handle day by day.

5. Now Comes The Night - We’re musicians. We get together with any sort of instrument and we can’t help ourselves. Sometimes something magic happens and songs write themselves. Sometimes you get lucky and someone else has the perfect way to say what you keep hearing in your head. Total credit for this one goes to Griffin, he nailed it. I’ve only heard him play it once, and he told me I could have it. He was never going to sing it to anyone but the woman he wrote it for. She’s lucky I was too stupid to keep her.

6. Destructive – A reminder of past behavior? Beat the devil at his game. You could call this a trip down memory lane but I’d rather just focus on the cool drum machine groove. It’s all Roger’s idea so I can’t take credit for it but I think it definitely makes the song.

7. It’s All Love - There really is no story behind this song; no heart rending events that lead up to me recording this particular song. It was simply a song that wouldn't let go of me. I kept coming back to it again and again. Figured that was a good enough reason. Sometimes it’s all about what I want and about what feels good to me.

8. Far Away - It's that feeling that you've left something unsaid or undone for way too long. You're just about to call it quits, to walk away from the relationship, but there's that voice inside of you that tells you to try one last time. Give everything you've got to one last try to say or do what needs to be said or done. This one is for everyone out there that has taken someone for granted, and found by some miracle that that person is still there waiting. This one's for you babe.

9. Slow Dancing - I got this idea a few years ago. I have a good friend who is constantly butchering clichés, getting them ass backwards. "Storm before the calm" sounded right when it hit my brain. I'm not proud of the fact that I've got more than my share of experience with breaking up, but I'm sort of proud that not all of them were horrible and sordid. Most, but you read all about those at the supermarket anyway….

10. The Other Man -Contrary to popular belief this isn't autobiographical. I was visiting friends and just happened to find a demo CD in a desk drawer. If a certain Irish Rocker is too lazy to listen to the stuff his label sends him, is it my fault? If you don't believe that one, how about we were in the studio in the basement sharing our woes over a cold beer and warm guitars and cooked this one up from the hazy mists of days gone by.

11. Beautiful Dream - I’m not all that deep, this one is just what it seems to be. I woke up one morning, wondering why in the hell I was up, and all I could remember was this one image from the dream that woke me. It was as warm and comfortable and real as any thing, and I got up and wrote down what I could remember of the dream and then did the right thing. I called the beautiful woman behind it all. She wasn’t real impressed with the lateness of the hour, but I hear she likes the song.

12. Afterglow - When I started writing this one, I thought it was going to be another hot song about sex. Boy was I wrong. You ever have that person in your life that lights up a room just by being in it? You know how it feels when they leave, and the warmth starts to seep away? That's the afterglow. You can still remember what it felt like, but it's fading way too fast. This is just that lonely me, begging my sunshine to come back and chase away the cold.

13. Perfect Strangers - There was a time a while back where I'd sneak off to bars and be anyone but me. I overheard this guy laying down that line about being perfect strangers. I don't know his name, and dude, don't even come crawling to me for a check. You got what you deserve from that line. Or at least she didn't dump her drink on you.

14. Secrets That We Keep - There's nothing sexier than that look across a crowded room, and you just connect. No words are needed to complete the thought. The wicked little grin on her lips is a drug. I used to hate being in the room with those "connected" couples, till I joined the club. Thanks for leaving my name with the guy at the door, Baby. I couldn't be here without you.